


Last Resorts

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 08:39:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14589219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: With Lilith and Jace gone once more, Magnus is left with the words Lilith spoke to him echoing in his head, providing him with a potential solution to their problem that Alec and Isabelle are reluctant to even consider.





	Last Resorts

**Author's Note:**

> coda to 3.08

He could still feel the uninhibited power of Lilith’s magic fill the loft like an electric current. It was everywhere. He could still feel the force of it around his neck where a red mark was, the flesh burned in the place she held him with it. He needed to get out of this room. He needed to move. He needed to _think._

In that moment before Lilith released him, the moment Magnus Bane was certain he was about to see the end of his very long (and yet, somehow, he still felt like it hadn’t been quite long enough) life, he learned something that he knew could change the tide of their battle against Lilith. She may not fear him and his powers - and why should she? He was nothing compared to her, the Queen of Edom, the mother of all demons - but she _did_ fear Asmodeus. It was an admission that was going to cost her in the end.

Alec and Isabelle were still standing there, heartbroken in their shock over losing Jace once more, after everything they risked to get him back. And all Magnus could hear in the silence that fell between them were Alec's words from the balcony, ' _Without him, I'm nothing'._  He could see that same loss written all over Alec's face once more and it was enough to break him into a million pieces, solidifying the fact that there was no scenario that followed where he allowed Alexander to ever feel this empty, this lost and afraid, ever again. Not if there was anything he could do about it. He could barely stand to see the looks on their faces, the stinging disappointment he could only attribute to his own inability to stop Lilith. If he were stronger, if he held on just a little longer, or managed to pull them back sooner --

\--but it was too late for that now. It was done. Just like the potion he created. He couldn’t take back the mistakes he continued to make, time after time, despite his best intentions. But he could try to fix them again, and again, and again, until he succeeded in righting his wrongs.

Or until he died trying.

Without a word to either of the siblings he walked over to a small cabinet by his desk, pulling out the oldest looking tome from a locked drawer, silently flipping through the pages until he found what he was looking for. His eyes were wide as he read, mostly in an attempt to keep them open enough to read despite the exhaustion he felt. The fatigue spread to every last corner of his body from the sheer strength of the magic that spell took to hold as long as he had. His expression started to glaze over as he found what he was looking for, body going into auto-pilot which only gave him a slightly crazed appearance as he ran his hand through his hair, muttering words aloud to himself here and there as he started to read.

“Magnus, what are you doing?” The voice belonged to Isabelle, soft and hesitant. Alec was still standing motionless, staring at the open window as if half-expecting to still see any trace of Lilith or Jace there, but his attention was brought back to the room at the sound of his sister’s words.

“I know what I can do.” Magnus said simply, the words coming slowly as he split his attention between not ignoring her question and continuing to read through the pages of ancient script. He didn’t even notice Alec as he took several long strides across the loft to stand next to him, a second pair of eyes now scanning the pages of the book on the table.

“That’s… Chthonic?” Alec questioned, trying to pick apart some of the words he understood, which wasn’t many of them.

“And Purgatic,” Magnus said, sounding distracted as his finger traced along the carefully inked symbols halfway down one of the pages. “I’m going to need to call Cat, I don’t think I have the energy to pull this off alone…” Magnus was entirely fixated on the words in front of him, everything in his head falling into place all at once. The weight of the words he was reading was enough to slow his breathing but now that the solution was in front of him he knew he couldn't ignore it, no matter what the cost. He could do this. This could _work_.

“Alec, what is it?” Isabelle’s words broke through the quiet that settled around him as he read. Magnus finally looked up from the book at that, because he was so focused on what he was reading that he didn’t notice the way Alexander fell silent beside him, the way the color drained from his face as he looked back at his sister, expression torn between horror and concern. His head tilted to the side, as if he had no idea why Alec would look so frightened. And for a moment he really, truly didn’t. Magnus was so wrapped up in the idea that he’d figured out a solution to all of this that his own initial reaction was practically _elation_ at the idea of being able to deliver on the promise he made at to Alec. An elation Alexander obviously didn’t share just yet.

“Magnus, you can’t.” Alec  recognized enough words to piece together at least part of what Magnus was reading. Magnus frowned, feeling momentarily guilty that he didn’t even consider telling him what his newest plan was before he was already in search of the spells and ingredients necessary to make it happen. That there was no doubt in his mind that it was what needed to be done, and that Alec would agree.

“I have to. It’s the only way to stop Lilith. He’s the only person she’s afraid of.” Magnus moved to turn back to the book but Alec stopped him, hand coming to rest firmly on his arm to turn his body back to face him.

“No, there’s got to be - we’ll find another way.” Alec sounded so tired, so defeated, that his pleas fell flat. He knew as well as Magnus did that they were out of options, no matter what he said out loud.  “You can’t summon Asmodeus. It isn’t worth the risk!”

Magnus’s lips curled up in a rueful smile. “Oh, I’m not going to summon him _here_. You’re quite right, that’s a risk we can’t afford just now, especially if I couldn’t manage to contain him properly.” He was avoiding the point, and rather skillfully, if he did say so himself. Because if that was Alec’s reaction to thinking Magnus was going to try and summon his dad up to the surface for a nice little chat, he could only imagine how poorly the actual truth of his plan was going to go over.

“Then what is that spell for?” Magnus could hear the hesitation, the fact that even though Alec had to ask, to figure out exactly what Magnus was planning, part of him wondered if he could stomach the answer he was about to get. And when only silence followed with downcast eyes unable to meet his own, Alec felt the dread that started in his stomach spread to fill his entire being. It was a sense of foreboding that seemed to fill the entire loft all at once with an almost  suffocating weight. “Magnus?”

“...it’s a spell to open a portal. To Edom.”

“Magnus you can’t-” “There’s no way I’m letting you-!” The siblings protested instantly, voices clamoring over one another. It was almost enough to make the warlock smile at the feeling of love and caring their concern elicited to know they were still able to concern themselves with his well being even if it came at the expense of their best bet to save their brother.

“I promised you I would do everything in my power to get Jace back.” He took Alec’s hands in his own then, giving them a gentle squeeze as he met those hazel eyes so wide with disbelief, unable to accept that this was the only option. Magnus could practically see his brain searching for something, anything, to offer as a counter, but they both knew he couldn’t. The guilt of aiding Lilith was on him. The failure to stop her from breaking in, from taking Jace a second time, that was on him now, too, even if both Alexander and Isabelle were too kind to say it. He could see it every time their eyes met. "This is it. This is the best I've got." 

“Then I’m going with you.” 

“Out of the question. You have too much at stake here, even if I could take you with me.” Which he most certainly could not. Edom was enough of a danger for someone of Magnus’ abilities. To bring any mortal soul - let alone a mortal he loved -  into his father’s realm was asking for disaster.

“I can’t let you do this-” Alec started, but his voice broke and the words got lost in the back of his throat, eyes shimmering with the threat of tears at the thought of what going to Edom might cost for Magnus, just at the expense of his mental health alone. And Magnus was thinking the same, try as he might to ignore the effect even just thinking about his Father had on him, let alone the idea of walking himself into his realm to broker a deal. A deal he knew wouldn’t come cheap, if he even managed to succeed in the first place.

“It’s alright. Hey, it’s okay.” Magnus leaned forward, resting his forehead against Alec’s gently, eyes closing as they leaned into one another.

“I can’t lose you, too.”

“I’m not that easy to lose.” He sighed, breath warm against the skin of Alec’s cheek. “And we don’t have the luxury of time to argue about this.” He gave Alec’s hands another squeeze before taking a step back, expression solemn. “You’re going to have to trust me.”  
  
“Of course I trust you. I trust you with my life, but this is-”  
  
“-then trust me with mine. And Jace’s.”  

Alec fell silent for a long moment after that before he gave a single, derisive nod, not trusting himself to speak. It was only then that Isabelle spoke again, breaking the tension that settled across the trio, shifting them into a course of action.

“So what do you need us to do?”

**Author's Note:**

> (Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com))  
> ((edit: So, I wrote this Tuesday night immediately after the episode aired, and I'm far too pleased with how well it lined up with the sneak peek that was just released today! <3 But obviously, since I wrote it before we got an actual look at the 'going to edom' reveal, I guess this is technically a canon-divergent coda knowing what we know now! lol))


End file.
